Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Randomize
