yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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