do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
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It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
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Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
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