There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
His nipple licking is glorious
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