you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?