Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...

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(603): no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us... http://tfl.nu/rs9m

Replies (1) Good night (892) Bad night (1230)
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(613): View more from Ontario

she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent

(613): View more from Ontario

I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM

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(613): she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent (613): I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM http://tfl.nu/2tls

Replies (24) Good night (1079) Bad night (5446)
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(512): View more from Texas

Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.

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(512): Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise. http://tfl.nu/xhgo

Replies (13) Good night (5515) Bad night (685)
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(917): View more from New York City

so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...

(845): View more from New York

Are you serious?

(917): View more from New York City

yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...

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(917): so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head... (845): Are you serious? (917): yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it... http://tfl.nu/iiih

Replies (25) Good night (974) Bad night (4578)
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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.

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(902): he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now. http://tfl.nu/t4cx

Replies (22) Good night (858) Bad night (5983)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.

(616): View more from Michigan

I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?

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(616): Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past. (616): I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures? http://tfl.nu/o51k

Replies (4) Good night (3091) Bad night (1532)
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(217): View more from Illinois

Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty

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(217): Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty http://tfl.nu/906v

Replies (10) Good night (2246) Bad night (697)
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(850): View more from Florida

I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.

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(850): I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in. http://tfl.nu/gea0

Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (1557)
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(757): View more from Virginia

Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him

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(757): Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him http://tfl.nu/gn0k

Replies (13) Good night (1258) Bad night (2472)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?

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(503): Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week? http://tfl.nu/t1cs

Replies (2) Good night (1445) Bad night (466)
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(954): View more from Florida

I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window

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(954): I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window http://tfl.nu/x5q3

Replies (4) Good night (973) Bad night (507)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x

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(+44): No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x http://tfl.nu/ydw7

Replies (2) Good night (665) Bad night (520)
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(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high

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(401): apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high http://tfl.nu/w0gd

Replies (3) Good night (864) Bad night (429)
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(607): View more from New York

I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it

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(607): I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it http://tfl.nu/h8wz

Replies (2) Good night (634) Bad night (365)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.

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(617): ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles. http://tfl.nu/rw8b

Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (377)

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