Texts From Last Night

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  (619): View more from California

  I want to have your abortion

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  (619): I want to have your abortion http://tfl.nu/1oyo
  Replies (29) Good night (842) Bad night (1412)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

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  (313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga
  Replies (21) Good night (537) Bad night (1703)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat

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  (907): i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat http://tfl.nu/gmsd
  Replies (20) Good night (2834) Bad night (964)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.

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  (973): I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung. http://tfl.nu/lg9m
  Replies (18) Good night (5105) Bad night (880)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look

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  (206): He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look http://tfl.nu/dski
  Replies (17) Good night (4764) Bad night (1438)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed

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  (410): i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed http://tfl.nu/6788
  Replies (2) Good night (3016) Bad night (705)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.

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  (414): Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/nm91
  Replies (10) Good night (2689) Bad night (837)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered

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  (440): You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered http://tfl.nu/unl1
  Replies (6) Good night (2632) Bad night (699)
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  (408): View more from California

  dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out

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  (408): dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out http://tfl.nu/y59w
  Replies (4) Good night (537) Bad night (1323)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.

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  (413): I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing. http://tfl.nu/qpjl
  Replies (11) Good night (421) Bad night (1922)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (735) Bad night (889)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake

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  (815): I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake http://tfl.nu/t4t1
  Replies (4) Good night (1040) Bad night (312)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to

  (302): View more from Delaware

  yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich

  (302): View more from Delaware

  wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in

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  (603): I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to (302): yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich (302): wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in http://tfl.nu/z48g
  Replies (9) Good night (673) Bad night (328)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.

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  (225): So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown. http://tfl.nu/2v03
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (205)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends

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  (812): god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends http://tfl.nu/rf2n
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (573)

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