Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.