The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
