Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
