If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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