Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
