Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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