Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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