i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
