Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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