I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
