she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
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Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
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i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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