What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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