well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Randomize
