So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
