Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
