can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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