Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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