I haven't been this sober since birth.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
