how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
