So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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