just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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