Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
