Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
