so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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