im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
