I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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