Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
