I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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