I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
one might say we're banned from that church
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
