He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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