if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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