It's Friday. Sex?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
