I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
