WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
