Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
