CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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