I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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