how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!