Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..