dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music