I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
