The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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