I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize