Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
