The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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