youre lurking in front of me
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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