Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
