It's like a parade of train wrecks.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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