So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
