Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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