you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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