I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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