we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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