Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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