filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
