At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
