foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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